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I. Louis Garrel. Hottest man alive. Valentino agrees. II. Stoya, I would definitely be gay for you. I would even be a straight Jewish dude for you. III. Shaun Ross. IV. Stellan Skarsgård in Breaking the Waves.

I. Stacy Martin. II. Joe Dallesandro. III. Lia Lor. Cutest cumface in da world.

I. Lupita Nyong'o. II. Hottest threesome ever. III. Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones. Is he a dwarf in real life? OMG, I hope so.

I. Iggy Azalea. No sure if I want to bone her or be her. But she's definitely hot. II. JD Samson. III. Stoya - again *sigh*. IV. Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club.

I. Emily (Always). II. Kim Basinger with mustache. III. Yemi Docemo & Kris Brummel.

I. James Dean II. Eva Green

I. Blaue Blume. (Can anyone please explain why there are like no pics of these four kids on the Internet?!) II. Grace Jones. III. Gimli. Or basically just every red haired dude in the universe.